Disharmony

I have to pat myself on the back because, despite what's been going on in my personal and professional life recently, I still have managed to boot up the work laptop and write another blog entry. Sometimes just doing something small gives you that little push that you need to get the momentum going.

I feel that there has been a steady decline the past few months of my energy and positive outlook; that my life isn't jiving that well. It's a small thing that nags at the back of your mind, like when your car is out of alignment and you can kind of feel that something is wrong when you're on the road, but not sure. Like listening to a symphony and hearing that one violin off key, but you can't quite place it...

What has been really centering to me today was getting to a cafe and re-reading all of my coaching materials in preparation for launching my business stateside. I read up on values and living by one's values, and I also read over my list of values that I defined during my coaching studies, as well as the list of energy drainers in my life at the time (very different from now, since all of this was done in Japan). I realized that I have not kept up with reevaluating my life periodically, and in doing so, have lost sight of living my life in accordance with said values as well as pinpointing my current stressors and devising strategies to minimize them. Life is an continuous project in motion, and if you don't keep up with its development and shore up reserves for those unexpected twists and turns, it creates a lot of extraneous strife.

One of the hardest things when times are very bleak is to hold onto some type of hope or faith that the bad times will end (hint: they will, but you might be so preoccupied you miss it) and there will be more good times to be had. But sometimes it's not about having hope or faith, but using that last bit of energy to do something new with your day, whether it's order a different drink from Starbucks (I did this today, got a delicious mocha to treat myself instead of just a regular coffee), taking a different path to work, or going to a new place for lunch. Who knows what new and motivating experience you might have by making a simple change like this.

So next time you are struggling, do something small and different with your day. At the very least, you could have a positive impact on someone else around you, and that's always a mood booster. Until next time.

Changes, changes

I feel incredibly embarrassed that over a year has passed since my last entry. I recently got motivated again to write after I saw a new blog post from my childhood friend, who had let her blog lapse as well. As always with the passage of a large interval of time, many things have happened since I last wrote here.

For one, I am no longer in Japan. I left the country in November of last year, and the readjustment to the Western lifestyle has been a challenge to say the least. I never had any homesickness when I went to Japan, but I have had a terrible case of reverse homesickness that doesn't seem to be letting up.

Why did I leave? There were several reasons, from wanting a change to lack of professional growth, etc etc., and my lovely peer coaches and friends helped me greatly through this process. I was able to use several of the tools that I learned through my coaching courses to make an informed and heartfelt decision.

My coaching has been on somewhat of a hiatus since I returned almost 9 months ago (the time has just FLOWN by) while I have gotten used to mundane things like driving everywhere (annoying), writing checks (super annoying), and sorely missing all the conveniences of Japan.

Though with all my lamentations about leaving my second home, there is something very refreshing and liberating to feel like you are finally on your own path, on your own terms, with dreams and goals fully laid out. Though I loved Japan dearly, what I was doing there for work was just to pay the bills, and I felt that I was suffocating and not living up to my true potential.

The hardest thing to keep in mind during the dark times, when I was scared to leave Japan, scared that I was making a big mistake that I wouldn't be able to undo easily, scared of having to leave my social circle of loving and supportive friends, was that you always have to keep moving forward. Doors will always open for you. It could be doing something as simple as choosing to eat at a new restaurant for a change, where you could meet someone who might change your life forever, or even going to a different gas station to get gas. Change is a constant. You have to be open to it or you invite a lot of frustration and suffering.

I am looking forward to this new path in my life and where it will take me. I still consider what's going on now just a transitional thing and things will all fall into place with a little positive thinking and patience.